Feelings vs. Reactions:
Do you know the difference?
Sometimes when I suggest to someone that they might need to feel their feelings, they say, “Oh, I’m way too feeling already! That’s what causes all my problems!”
But are you really feeling your feelings? Do you know what you are feeling and is it ok to just be with those feelings? Or are you judging them and reacting emotionally to them, sometimes not even knowing what the feelings are, only that you feel awful and are angry or upset with the person or events which triggered them?
If you are feeling your feelings and being loving and compassionate with yourself as you allow your feelings (an art which can be learned) then feelings just are and being with them helps them unfold and pass, just like the weather on the mountain (or in Michigan!).
If you are reacting to your feelings and not really feeling them but perhaps, blaming others for them, it means that you are not comfortable with your feelings (who is at first?!) and you do not feel safe feeling them. This triggers an angry or emotional reaction. You may feel like it comes out of nowhere and you may even feel out of control (which can feel very scary!).
The irony is that those unfelt feelings we so often judge, avoid and repress, are actually in charge of our behavior so, if we want to feel more in control, we have to face the feelings we have been avoiding and do so with compassion and care.
How much better it is to be with all of our feelings, to befriend them and allow them to guide us and teach us about our true needs! And the bonus of this work is that we feel much closer and more loving to ourselves, to others and to the world.
Feeling is a good thing. It is a gift from the Mystery We Call God. It is our link into the Present Moment, our connection to our bodies and the language of our Souls.
All feelings give us clues to our deeper needs and help us to align our life with love.
Inner Listening Therapy is a method I have developed to help myself and others connect to feelings, allow them to unfold and, in the process, release perceptual and emotional energy that no longer serves us on our life journey. Please contact me if I can be of help on your journey.