Introverts, Extroverts and the Holidays

Anyone who has had couples counseling with me knows that we are not all put together the same way. One of the major differences is how much we love being around a lot of people we don’t know. Extroverts thrive on it (depending on your degree of extroversion) and Introverts hate it (depending on your degree of introversion) preferring instead to be with people they know well.
So, before you put on your party clothes and grab the bubbly, make sure you both agree on what your differing needs are regarding the holiday events you will be attending or putting on together. The list below may help start some compassionate conversation.

• Lose energy around strangers.
• Get energy when alone or with a few good friends.
• Dislike public places for too long
• Can’t wait to go home – low on energy

• Get energy around strangers
• Lose energy when alone too much
• Love to go out to public places
• Linger – don’t want to leave early – full of energy

How to work with the differences.
Introverts, spend time alone or with one good friend when you begin to tire. Let the extrovert know that you need to go home in 1 hour. Extroverts, when you get the 1 hour notice begin to wrap up your many different conversations. Plan ahead – arrange for extroverts to stay longer and introverts to head home earlier or extroverts to go party alone or with a friend. The introvert is often quiet happy not going! None of this is personal, it just is.